Name: Hippo A. Potamus
aka: "Hippo," "H.A.P," or "Mr. Potamus"
Birthdate: unknown, but everyday is a good day for Happy Hippo Day!
Height: 10 1/2 inches (unless you count the ears)
Weight: Hippo doesn't like to wait.
Eyes: small and beady
Hair: fuzzy and grey
Distinguishing features: bulbous nose, cuteness, short arms
About my mugshot--It was just a misunderstanding! I did NOT piddle in my assistant's purse--it was condensation from the water bottle. I didn't actually do any time. I would have fired her, but then I remembered that I can't get around by myself. We eventually agreed never to speak of the "incident" again.